When people annoy, irritate or annoy us we have a range of choices to make. So far we've explored two of them- the lens of realistic optimism becoming aware of the story we are telling ourselves about the facts and choosing to select an empowering story based on positive intent. The reverse lens: using the working assumption that people are doing the best they can with the resources available to them to experience genuine empathy. This blog focuses on the long lens- the ability to see beyond the present, whilst remaining open to the learning that current circumstances reveal.
What does it mean to see beyond the present? How often have you looked back on a disagreement or a difficult relationship and thought that although it seemed so all consuming at the time, as you look back, with hindsight, it really doesn't seem to be that important after all.
Ah, I hear you say, but that is the beauty of hindsight! But what if we could experience this beauty in the present when we really need it? Perhaps by asking ourselves a simple question and exercising the power of our own imagination, this is really possible.
How? you ask. Next time someone irritates you, try using the long lens to gain a sense of perspective and ask yourself, "How important will this be to me in a week/month/year's time? I am constantly amazed by the shift produced in me when I ask myself this question and I realise afresh that I am responsible for my choices and that no-one can make me feel irritated or disappointed without my consent.
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